Harry Potter (Potter) met his best friend Ron
On the Hogwarts train, and they introduced themselves
They were getting pretty hungry when
The trolley came around
Ron was like, “I’ll take a chocolate frog”
Harry stared at him, he was simply just agog
“Do they really jump? Can you put it in your mouth?
Will they jump onto the ground?”
Ron said, “Well you know the coolest part
Is opening the frog and checking out the card
There are famous people on each and every one
You can see them when they’re here”
Harry looked at the card in this hand
And there he was, an old and handsome man
With a long white beard and a steady hand
Who’s also super queer

Chocolate frogs, oh, chocolate frogs
Just how many cards can you get?
Opening and opening and opening and opening…
These chocolate frogs

Upon opening old Dumbledore’s card
Hardly believing it, he turned his head to Ron
In a whisper, shaking with excitement now
He asked, “Is he really gay?”
Ron said, “There’s a really fun fact
Every single card that was ever ever packed
In a chocolate frog that was ever on the rack
Is LGBTQIA”
Then a smile slowly crossed Harry’s face
Every doubt and fear of magic was erased
There are magic people who are gay and bi and ace!
And they’re waiting just for me
Ron saw the look of Harry’s awe
And was taken back to the moment when he saw
He was not alone, he was truly home
In the queer community

Chocolate frogs, oh, chocolate frogs
Just how many cards can you get?
Opening and opening and opening and opening…
These chocolate frogs

Opening and opening and opening and opening…
These chocolate frogs

(Sigh) Would you look at all these cards…

We got: Oswald Beamish, Edgar Stroulger, Glenda Chittock, Greta Catchlove
Gideon Crumb, Crispin Cronk, Gerta Curd, Agatha Chubb
Falcon Aesalon, Balfour Blane, Blodwyn Bludd, her highness Queen Maeve
Sacharissa Tugwood, Hesper Starkey, Gondoline Oliphant, Flavius Belby
Kirley Duke and Wilfred Elphick, Yen Dzou, Alberic Grunnion
Dymphna Furmage, Perpetua Fancourt, Gifford Ollerton, Burdock Muldoon
Daisy Dodderidge, Xavier Rastrick, Almerick Sawbridge, Montague Knightley
Hengist of Woodcroft, Yardley Platt, Laverne de Montmorency
Malodora Grymm,Carlotta Pinkstone, Mopsus and Glanmore Peakes
Justus Pilliwickle, Lord Stoddard Withers, Glover Hipworth, Jocunda Sykes
Mirabella Plunkett, Tilly Toke, Gaspard Shingleton, Felix Summerbee
Norvel Twonk, Dorcas Wellbeloved, Bridget Wenlock, Herbert Varney
Devlin Whitehorn, Ignatia Wildsmith, Thaddeus Thurkell, Havelock Sweeting
Quong Po, Carmilla Sanguina, Derwent Shimpling
Cornelius Agrippa, Barberus Bragge, Honoria Nutcombe, Archibald Alderton
Beatrix Bloxam, Gunhilda of Gorsemoor, Hengist of Upper Barnton

Chocolate frogs, oh, chocolate frogs
Just how many cards can you get?
Opening and opening and opening and opening…
These chocolate frogs

Opening and opening and opening and opening…
These chocolate frogs

Opening and opening and opening and opening…
These chocolate frogs