1. |
The Room of Requirement
02:34
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A magic education can be lots of fun
But what do students do once their class is done?
Where do they go to get the things they need?
The Room of Requirement is always up to speed
Chorus:
The Room of Requirement, where your pronouns are respected
The Room of Requirement, where you are presented
With gender-affirming clothing, binders, wigs, and ties
The Room of Requirement, the best kind of surprise
Where Emma and Laura can snuggle in a bed
Where Sally-Anne and Morag can leave some things unsaid
Where Terence and Lee can settle their differences
Where Vicky and Patricia can fawn over witches
Chorus
Dumbledore’s Army comes to practice spells
When they are done, they will never tell
Everyone creates gender-changing plans
What, you didn’t know? Every member’s trans!
Chorus
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2. |
Squib Love
02:32
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Arabella lives amongst the Muggles
Arabella has had her share of struggles
Looking after Harry and her cats
Weeding out her garden and the rats
She’s a poly lesbian who’s looking for romance
Witch or Muggle, just as long as they know how to dance
Muggle might be best, she thinks, because she is a squib
Magic never came too easy since she was a kid
Chorus
She and Betty Braithwaite briefly had a fling
Before she made a mess of the whole Dumbledore thing
She had a go with Doris Crockford and even Madam Marsh
Doris Purkiss broke her heart, which was rather harsh
Chorus
Miriam still writes to her, a letter here and there
How she ended up with Agnes, Bella doesn’t care
Rosalind, Rosmerta, and Gladys are together
Arabella wishes she could be like that forever
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3. |
Slug Club Alliance
01:50
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Chorus:
Only those mages of greatest repute
Can join this exclusive club
Rubbing elbows with Hogwarts’ finest
Made by Professor Slug
The club is LGBT friendly
It flies flags all over the room
Representing those in attendance
Hoping they’ll come back soon
Pink, blue, and purple for Cormac and Higgs
The white, pink and blue one for Blaise
Bobbin and Flume get blue, yellow, and pink
Lesbian for Damocles
Chorus
Purple/blue/green is for Belby
Gold with a purple circle
That one’s for Slughorn, if you didn’t know
Worple gets white, green, and purple
Demiromantic for Tiberius
Faegender ace for Sanguini
Agender green for Ciceron Harkiss
The nonbinary flag for Harry
Chorus
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4. |
Musical Magicians
01:56
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Chorus:
Musical magicians, magical musicians
All have a story to be told
Magical musicians, musical magicians
Their songs will never grow old
Celestina Warbeck and her partner Merton Graves
Hosted the first wrock pride
All of the Weird Sisters gladly showed up
In flags they would proudly fly
Chorus
Kirley McCormack and Gideon Crumb
Repping the ace/aro flag
Rainbow for Thruston, Wintringham, Heathcote,
Enby for Tremlett and Wag
Chorus
Pan flag for me and for Stubby Boardman
Bi flag for Musidora
She has her very own Chocolate Frog card
For her exploding tuba
Chorus
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5. |
House of BIack
01:48
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The tapestry looked immensely old. It showed a sprawling family tree dating back to
the Middle Ages. Large words at the very top of the tapestry read:
The noble and most ancient House of Black
If you cross their path, be ready to attack
They will shoot a hex at you without a second thought
With a Muggle-born they would never be caught
Something you should know about this noble house:
Every Black is queer, and so is their spouse
Their family lines run red with the purest blood
So let’s get to know them, as everybody should:
We’ve got Arcturus: the first, the second, third
They were named after the brightest star in the herd
Cygnus I, II, III were named after a swan
Shining in the sky like their cousin O-ri-on
We got Cassiopeia, she’s beauty, she’s grace
Eduardus Limette Black would punch you in the face
Elladora, Alphard, Phoebe and Phineas
Licorus, Lycoris, Hesper, Marius
What about Walburga and Regulus the first?
Sirius the first and second, which one was the worst?
Alexia and Pollux are the last Blacks, if you please
They had to marry other pureblood wizarding families
Every outside family member was as queer as them
So don’t forget the ones who were trans and masc and fem:
The House of Burke and Weasley too, and Longbottom of course
Prewett, Blishwick, Hitchens, Crouch, and Potter - the dark horse
Araminta Meliflua was the final one
Fading out and sputtering, the House of Black was done
Maybe they were not the greatest people on the earth
Remember them for who they were, and how great was their worth.
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6. |
Desire
02:08
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Chorus:
My sister and I came across a mirror
What we saw couldn’t have been clearer
It showed us our hearts’ desire
My brother and I, and what we required
We looked in that mirror almost every day
Sitting and sighing, ‘til it went away
It woke us up and we started to act
Then we knew there was no turning back
Chorus
McGonagall’s an animagus, how hard can it be?
We went to Madam Pomfrey so we could get on T
Learned some charms from Flitwick to grow some facial hair
Wizard robes from Madam Malkins to add a little flair
Chorus
Finally, year seven, and we got what we want
My brother and I, our graduation walk
Full marks and full hearts, not one regret
The time we transitioned we’ll never forget
Chorus
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7. |
Auntie Bella
02:50
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Chorus:
Why does Auntie Bella have so many friends?
Witches, wizards, and a wix, it never seems to end
They show up here all the time, asking where she is
Seems like Malfoy Manor now is only used for this
She swears to me that they’re just friends, so then tell me why
They send gifts and flowers here, and look at her and sigh
Give her kisses on the cheek and even on the neck
Kisses, smooches, even more, or just a little peck
Chorus
I have a sneaking feeling Auntie Bella isn’t straight
Despite all her insistence that it’s Muggle-borns she hates
I have seen her cozy up to women of repute
Alecto Carrow, Veronica Smethley (who I admit is cute)
Chorus
When I was a little boy, Uncle Dolph told me
That he had a secret, as secret as could be
He told me that he was ace, I don’t know what that means
I am guessing that his marriage isn’t what it seems
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8. |
Founders
01:22
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Helga and Rowena started off as friends
Working with the others to achieve their ends
Soon enough a romance began to grow
With the need to love, and the need to know
Nicholas and Perenell alchemized the Stone
They were poly, and so they never felt alone
Antioch, Ignotus, and Cadmus Peverell
All had married Death, and felt they ended well
Felix was the wizard who invented liquid luck
Take one sip of that, it hits you like a truck
Little do people know his husband Golpalott
Had dated Gamp, their laws of transfiguration taught a lot
Grindelwald and Dumbledore: for the greater good
They had never worked it out, if they ever could
Odo the Hero inspired many songs
Xe was a great wizard, I always sing along
(Odo, if only we knew you
As Odo the hero you were...)
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9. |
Growing Pains
02:48
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Growing like a flower, growing like a weed
Lily and Petunia grew with such a speed
But they grew apart instead of growing together
‘Tunia didn’t know that she would hate Lily forever
So Lily went to Hogwarts, Petunia stayed at home
Feeling useless, feeling sad, feeling all alone
These two sisters didn’t know what they both would miss
All the crushes, drama, romance, even their first kiss
Since they were eleven they didn’t stay in touch
Lily learning magic, it was just too much
Had they stayed together, they may well have found
They could find quite a lot in their common ground
Both of them were bi, although they’d never say
That one was a secret up until their wedding day
When they each were married, they told their husband this
Sealing it away with an “I do” and a kiss
Then Lily died at twenty-one, never to return
Her sister felt the feelings inside of her burn
Sadness, jealousy, and relief, a great sense of disdain
Loss and love, and a nephew to remind her of that pain
And so baby Harry became Petunia’s test
To see if she still loved her sister, but you know the rest
She gave him a tiny room, a roof over his head
The last thing she would do for Lily - remembrance of the dead
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10. |
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Chorus:
Tents and campfires, spells and songs
Gold and green - if not, you’re wrong
We can’t help but to show off
Flying carpets, nice and soft
Where’s the romance? Just look up
You’ll find love at the Quidditch World Cup
Ireland and Bulgaria
Two teams head to head
Where are they when on the ground?
In each others’ bed!
The Irish team is poly
Bulgaria as well
Angelina Johnson’s bi
As is Katie Bell
Chorus
Roger Davies is with Flint
And Ludo Bagman’s trash
Miles Bletchly broke his nose
When he and Derrick crashed
Quidditch romance goes back
Far as we can see
Wood and Warrington
Montague, Bole, and Pucey
Chorus
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Totally Knuts Fremont, California
I am a nonbinary wizard who writes inclusive wizard rock! And also other nerdy stuff. Logo by Brenna Doe.
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