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Hut on the Wrock 3: The Search for Wrock

by Totally Knuts

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1.
It's a damn tough life full of toil and strife We Jedi undergo. And we don't give a damn when the day is done How hard the Federation blows. 'cause we're Senate bound from the Naboo ground But quite a few hits had, did we Now we venture there to make repairs With the folk of Tatooine. Rolling down to Tatooine, me boys, rolling down to Tatooine We're Senate bound from the Naboo ground Rolling down to Tatooine. Once there in town, a boy was found In this junkyard home. His gift was strong, and it wasn’t long For a plan to reflect in chrome. A pod race win with this kid Would give them what they need To be Senate bound from this desert ground Rolling down to Tatooine. Rolling down to Tatooine, me boys, rolling down to Tatooine We're Senate bound from the desert ground Rolling down to Tatooine. Once more they fly through the starlit skies All the way to Corusant The Jedi there warn to be ware Of the Dark side of this lad For Fear leads to anger, anger to hate But Qui-gon swore he knew To train one so young as a Padawan ObiWan took the mantle, too. Rolling down to Tatooine, me boys, rolling down to Tatooine We're Senate bound from the dersert ground Rolling down to Tatooine. A moisture hand, a hidden lad A pilot he would be A fate unavoided, brought by a droid Looking for an old man, he Lost the world he knew, and so off he flew To find his destiny With a wookie, a sister, a smuggler, a nephew A father he never had seen Return of this Jedi was quite a life Since we last left Tatooine. Rolling down to Tatooine, me boys, rolling down to Tatooine We're Empire bound from the desert ground Rolling down to Tatooine. So much to learn, but dues well earned The Sith were far astern A native maid, her path outlaid Decided to return Been a long time since anyone lived here. What’s your name, one man asked her With a secret smile in the twin sunlight My name is Skywalker Rolling down to Tatooine, me boys, rolling down to Tatooine In the twin moonlight, a Skywalker thrives Rolling down to Tatooine.
2.
To mixed blood parents I was born Laugh away, Mock away So I’m the target of your scorn The Half Blood Prince will answer Chorus: Laugh away, you pure blood snobs Laugh away, Mock away Laugh away, it never stops The Half Blood Prince will answer I was born to modest means Laugh away, Mock away You taunted me all through my teens The Half-Blood Prince will answer Chorus Such mockery & taunts I’ve borne Laugh away, Mock away Listen now & be forewarned The Half-Blood Prince will answer Chorus There’s more than blood to wizardry Laugh away, Mock away I’ll be Headmaster, wait & see The Half-Blood Prince will answer Chorus Jamesie Potter eggs them on Laugh away, Mock away If not for Lily, he’d be gone The Half-Blood Prince will answer Chorus x2
3.
4.
Oh Santa Anna won that day So play Santa Anna Now calibrate the array, they say In the holosuite when next we go Well, here's a fight where the end we know Then play Santa Anna Here's a fight where the end we know In the holosuite when next we go An old Spanish fort on a mission's ground Then play Santa Anna A mighty army will surround In the holosuite when next we go Well, here's a fight where the end we know Then play Santa Anna Here's a fight where the end we know In the holosuite when next we go Defeated with the rising sun Then play Santa Anna For they outnumber us ten to one In the holosuite when next we go Well, here's a fight where the end we know Then play Santa Anna Here's a fight where the end we know In the holosuite when next we go We'll model out every strategy Then play Santa Anna But it's hard to change from the history In the holosuite when next we go Well, here's a fight where the end we know Then play Santa Anna Here's a fight where the end we know In the holosuite when next we go In frustration I did say Then play Santa Anna But I'm glad you're at my side today In the holosuite when next we go Well, here's a fight where the end we know Then play Santa Anna Here's a fight where the end we know In the holosuite when next we go And now, computer, end program No more Santa Anna You pick a different hologram In the holosuite when next we go
5.
Through a secret dungeon wall Is our common room, a hidden jewel. With the casting of a charm It detaches from the school, So we cruise into the lake And descend to a ravine Where the squid and kelpies play All around our submarine. CHORUS: We all sail in our Slytherin Submarine! Slytherin Submarine! Slytherin Submarine! X2 Head of House and Prefects crew Watching grindylows form a queue While the mermaids sing and play. [weird interlude] CHORUS Spoken/instrumental: How many Gryffindors does it take to stir a cauldron? Just one, he puts his wand in and waits for the world to revolve around him! Why is Moody such a crap Defense teacher? Because he can’t control his pupils! It’s “avada kedavra,” not "AH-va-duh KEH-duh-vruh." In the water floating free From expectations and enemies We are serpents of the sea In our Slytherin submarine! CHORUS
6.
Hermione Granger worked tirelessly For the Ministry to set the House Elves free But she tried and she found that it could never be For the system was built on this hierarchy So one day Hermione stood up in a huff And finally decided enough is enough Marched purposefully down the halls and out that Floo With clarity on what she needed to do The day that Hermione joined with the elves In their revolution to liberate themselves ‘Twas a mighty coalition of elf and witch To stand up and change what the law couldn’t fix They organized all the ones who were free To engage in the utmost trickery And fool all the masters into giving clothes Until the elves were finding freedom in droves But the movement weren’t done, for they just couldn’t stand The moral outrage that was Azkaban And so the elves set sail onto the North Sea Determined to see it through until all were free The day that Hermione joined with the elves In their revolution to liberate themselves ‘Twas the very day that they all began Hatching their plan to burn down Azkaban But when the rebellion arrived on those shores They were met with battalions of brutal Aurors Curses were flying; elves had to retreat While their backs were covered by one Hermione And so the accomplice arrested and tried And thrown into Azkaban to suffer and die But she grinned for she knew that they’d all soon be freed Their plan needed an inside witch to succeed The day that Hermione joined with the elves When they chose to act and committed themselves To making bold moves even if it meant war ‘Til slavery and prison torture were no more The future transformed when she joined with the elves In their revolution to liberate themselves ‘Twas a mighty coalition of elf and witch They stood up and changed what the law wouldn’t fix (With people power Azkaban went down quick) What shall we do with Demented wailers? What shall we do with Demented wailers? What shall we do with Dementors? We'll set Azkaban a-burning! Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Azkaban a-burning! Break em out with the Elven magic Break em out with the Elven magic Break em out with Elven magic Azkaban a-burning! Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Azkaban a-burning! Do a little jig with ha- Hermione Do a little jig with ha- Hermione Do a little jig with Hermione while Azkaban’s a-burning! [TREBLE REEL!] Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Weigh, heigh, Elf uprising Azkaban a-burning!
7.
H is for Halloween, the hauntingest time We’ll all sing about it, and we’ll do it in rhyme. A’s for the Alehouse, where the best spirits lie Let us go now and meet there and drink the house dry. Cheerily, Cheerily, at All Hallow’s Eve For mortals on earth, it’s the spirits we seek Make our pay, drink our pay, all the year long Come all ye bold seamen, sing our Halloween song L’s for the Lanterns, with glowing red eyes, Just save us the insides for nice tasty pies L’s for the Little ones, seek sweets by the pound L’s also Loving wot brings little ones ‘round Cheerily, Cheerily, at All Hallow’s Eve For mortals on earth, it’s the spirits we seek Make our pay, drink our pay, all the year long Come all ye bold seamen, sing our Halloween song O means ‘Ot Toddies, they warm you right up I think I’ll have another, right ‘ere in me cup W’s for Witches that fly on their brooms W’s also for Whiskey, we’ll drink it down soon Cheerily, Cheerily, at All Hallow’s Eve For mortals on earth, it’s the spirits we seek Make our pay, drink our pay, all the year long Come all ye bold seamen, sing our Halloween song E stands for Eerie, it’s that time of year To the spirits that haunt us, raise a glass & say, ‘Cheers!’ E’s also for Excitement, you feel in the air Libations & laughter with nary a care Cheerily, Cheerily, at All Hallow’s Eve For mortals on earth, it’s the spirits we seek Make our pay, drink our pay, all the year long Come all ye bold seamen, sing our Halloween song N’s for November, wot’s coming up soon In the meantime we’ll drink up, and howl at the moon! Now we’re done singing, our letters all spelled Let us raise up our glasses & spirits as well Cheerily, Cheerily, at All Hallow’s Eve For mortals on earth, it’s the spirits we seek Make our pay, drink our pay, all the year long Come all ye bold seamen, sing our Halloween song
8.
Oh it’s all for me beer Me jolly butterbeer It’s all for me cold gillywater Oh I spent all me knuts Now I’m spewin’ out me guts Far across the Hogsmeade township I must wander Verse 1 Oh where is me robe? Me flowy Hogwarts robe It’s all gone for cold gillywater Oh it’s patched up with thread Like a Weasley’s scarlet head Far across the Hogsmeade township I must wander And it’s all for me beer Me jolly butterbeer It’s all for me cold gillywater Oh I spent all me sickles On some fish n’ chips with pickles Far across the Hogsmeade township I must wander Verse 2 Oh where is me ball? Me red remembrall It’s all gone for cold gillywater Draco Malfoy’s mean to me; And he threw it up a tree Far across the Hogwarts grounds I must wander And it’s all for me beer Me jolly butterbeer It’s all for me cold gillywater Oh I spent all me galleons Bettin’ on that rapscallion Far across the Hogsmeade township I must wander Verse 3 Oh where is me wand? Me broken magic wand It’s all gone for cold gillywater See, it’s wrapped with Spellotape And it turned Professor Snape Into Neville’s 97 year old grandma And it’s all for me beer Me jolly butterbeer It’s all for me cold gillywater Oh I spent some Muggle bills I found on a windowsill Far across the Hogsmeade township I must wander Verse 4 Oh where is me hat? Me magic talking hat It’s all gone for cold gillywater I was walking out the door And it shouted “GRYFFINDOR” Far across the Hogwarts Great Hall I must wander
9.
And a drop of butterbeer wouldn't do us any harm And a drop of butterbeer wouldn't do us any harm And a drop of butterbeer wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind Chorus: And we'll roll the old carriages along (And we'll rooooll) We'll roll the old carriages along (We'll rooooll) We'll roll the old carriages along (We'll rooooll) And we'll all hang on behind (And we'll all hang on behind) And a bag of Bertie Bott's wouldn't do us any harm And a bag of Bertie Bott's wouldn't do us any harm And a bag of Bertie Bott's wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind (Chorus) And a Weasley's Wizard Wheeze wouldn't do us any harm And a Weasley's Wizard Wheeze wouldn't do us any harm And a Weasley's Wizard Wheeze wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind (Chorus) And a day in Hogsmeade town wouldn't do us any harm And a day in Hogsmeade town wouldn't do us any harm And a day in Hogsmeade town wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind (Chorus) And an Aguamenti spell wouldn't do us any harm And an Aguamenti spell wouldn't do us any harm And an Aguamenti spell wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind (Chorus) And a warm pair of socks wouldn't do us any harm And a warm pair of socks wouldn't do us any harm And a warm pair of socks wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind (Chorus) And another butterbeer wouldn't do us any harm And another butterbeer wouldn't do us any harm And another butterbeer wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind
10.
When I was just an ickle firstie everybody warned me, Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! To never anger Severus Snape, no matter what suborned me! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! CHORUS We’ll go (Go!) down below together to the dungeon. Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! We’ll go (Go!) down below for scrapin’ or for spongin’. Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! His eyes are all a-glitter from some nasty task he’s savin’ Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! To foist upon some unsuspecting students misbehavin’ Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! CHORUS In Potions I was punished for a-brewing something tragic! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! He had me scrubbin’ cauldrons out without the use of magic! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! CHORUS I got a little rowdy when I celebrated end-of-terms! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! He set me to bare-handedly discarding rotten Flobberworms! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! CHORUS One rainy day I tracked in mud, the castle thus befouling. Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! He handed me the horned toads and I set to disemboweling. Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! CHORUS For seven years, did Severus Snape creatively torment us! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! And that is how I qualified to be his new apprentice! Beware, oh beware detention with Snape! CHORUS

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The third installment of pub songs/sea shanties that now includes all fandoms! All rights belong to the bands/people who wrote them.

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released November 29, 2022

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Totally Knuts Fremont, California

I am a nonbinary wizard who writes inclusive wizard rock! And also other nerdy stuff. Logo by Brenna Doe.

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