Oh, my mistress comes from the House of Black Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Her boy is gone, and he won’t come back ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! And my new master’s a piece of trash Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast So I’ll take my butterbeer in a glass! ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! All day and night, I’ll throw ‘em back Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Though it ain’t as strong as an Irish Stout ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! Oh, Mr. Crouch was a friend to me Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast And I gave my life to his family ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! But he took my job and I got the sack Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Now the butterbeer is all I have ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! All day and night, I’ll throw ‘em back Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Though it ain’t as strong as an Irish Stout ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! Well, I made my livin' for a woman named Smith Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Didn’t look like much, but she sure was rich ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! 'Til a pale young man came and robbed us blind Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast So I drink that butterbeer all the time ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! All day and night, I’ll throw ‘em back Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Though it ain’t as strong as an Irish Stout ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! Them Malfoys kept me mighty low Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Had an evil plan, ‘til I said “NO!” ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! And now we toast to our victory Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast ‘Cause the Potter boy went and set me free ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir! All day and night, I’ll throw ‘em back Pour me a butterbeer, and make it fast Though it ain’t as strong as an Irish Stout ‘Tis strong for a house-elf, sir!

Has anybody seen my beer? Anyway, this next song is called Sail With a Wizard! If I were stranded on an island at sea With no one but Karkaroff there with me Then I would help him to build us a ship Then he’d sail away on his own with it So it’s no nay never; no nay never no more Will I sail with a wizard, no never no more If I were stranded on an island at sea With no one but Ron Weasley there with me We’d perish right there, you know it is true Because without Hermione what could he do? So it’s no nay never; no nay never no more Will I sail with a wizard, no never no more One more time! If I were stranded on an island at sea With no one but Voldemort there with me Then I would be doomed, because I’m sure that he Would try to make a Horcrux by murdering me So it’s no nay never; no nay never no more Will I sail with a wizard, no never no more If I were stranded on an island at sea With no one but Severus Snape there with me Then he would make potions alcoholic and sweet That we would be drinking out there on the beach We’ll be drunk, drunk, drunken, all day and all night Let me sail with a wizard and I’ll be alright We’ll be drunk, drunk, drunken, all day and all night Let me sail with a wizard and I’ll be alright (And it's all for the wrock, The jolly jolly wrock It's all for the fans of Harry Potter...)

Before you came to Hogwarts, our lot was laughs & skylarks But then when you turned up, the world went right to shite And though you’ve tried to haunt us, you never more will daunt us, We’ll tolerate no bullies; we’ll stand up for what’s right! Chorus: Goodbye Mrs. Umbridge, You really are the worst witch You can’t pretend to niceness, we’ve all seen your black heart Ah, sure you can’t control us, we don’t care what the toll is Instead of learning rubbish, we’ll be fighting the Dark Arts Your power thirst un-sated, you’re collectively well-hated And everyone but Filchie has plotted your demise You’ve no redeeming features, you hate all sorts of creatures I’d think of something nice to say, but I must not tell lies Chorus Though you’re smug & smarmy, We are Dum-ble-dore’s Army We all cheered for the centaurs, when they were dragging you away Your decrees are finished, from Hogwarts you are banished And with that good riddance, We joyfully will say: Chorus x2

99 butters of beer on the wall 99 butters of beer Take one down, it's slippery as f*ck 98 butters of beer on the wall

There once was a young man called Odo the Odd In a small muggle town he was born He was known for his garb, always worn wrong way 'round And his way with all those feathered, furred, or scaled Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were He could call any beast with a wave of his wand Without even a word they'd approach The villagers thought him a strange fairy lad And Odo did earn their reproach Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were As a lad, Odo wandered the forest and field In the dark under hill was a flame A dragon's domain where the warrens all wind Soon, familiar as home it became Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were Over the years, Odo made few a friend For the village had made up its mind Every cat* disagreed and liked Odo indeed For they saw that our Odo was kind Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were The village was led by one Baldric the Bold Whose deeds and whose charm won acclaim Always quick to impress, Baldric never did rest And a dragon to slay was his aim Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were One fine summer's morn when the dew had all dried Our Odo set off up the hill When the sun came back down, he returned to the town And was greeted with more than a chill Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were The houses had burned in the course of the day And the townsfolk had someone to blame A dragon had visited wrath on them all And their thoughts turned to only one name Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were To Odo they cried, "You have ruined us all!" But Odo he paid them no heed He followed the wake of the dragon at once For the beast must have been in great need Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were His feet found the ashes and embers that led To a scene much to Odo's dismay The dragon and Baldric were sword against scale So brave Odo stepped into the fray Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were He cast to disarm foolish Baldric the Bold As the townsfolk who followed looked on The dragon was scared, but kind Odo he dared To comfort his friend from there on Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were Odo held out his hand and he made gentle sounds Which out in the forest he learned The dragon did settle, and then at a wave Back into the hills did return Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were But Baldric recovered his sword in a rage And swung out at Odo instead Ere Odo could act, his wand it was cracked And Odo himself, he was dead Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were And Odo the hero, they bore him back home To the place that he'd known as a lad They laid him to rest with his hat inside out And his wand snapped in two, which was sad. Odo, if only we knew you As Odo, the hero you were

Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! We’re goin’ down to Hogsmeade We’re goin’ on a trip We’re buyin’ lots of candy Ain’t life a pip? We’re gonna have a drink there When we get to the pub We might have some whiskey We might just fall in “lub” Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! Oh, look! There’s Rosmerta She’s lookin’ mighty fine And if we ask her nicely She might give us some wine I asked her for a drink A shot of fire whiskey She broke my nose I had to use episkey Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! Well, now what should we do? We could go somewhere else We could go to the Hog’s Head I hear it kind of smells I hear the owner’s cranky He’s tough, but he’s fair But will he check if we’re of age? I don’t really care! Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! We got our Fire Whiskey We drank it down in one We started feelin’ funny We weren’t havin’ any fun OUR INSIDES ARE ON FIRE! It hurts when we laugh ‘Cause fire shoots right out my nose And shoots right out my a** Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di! Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-DI-DEE-DI-DEE-DIIIIIIII!

[hum] My mother is a Harpie's Beater. She beats off Bludgers. [hum] My father is a Beater's spouse. He beats off Bludgers. [hum] My sister is a Beater's daughter. She beats off Bludgers. [hum] My brother is a Beater's son. He beats off ... [hum]

Here at The Hanged Man I’ll tell you the tale Of the old Riddle House that stands high on a hill A fine-looking manor in its glory days Now is boarded up, creepy, a decrepit old grave One summer morning, not fifty years past The maid had found something that made her aghast The whole Riddle family, sitting right there Dead in the drawing room, blank empty stares How did they die, and who was arrested? Frank Bryce the gard'ner, the house cook attested Frank had seen awful things during the war He had the only spare key to their door The local police were very confused It seemed like no weapon or poison was used But what, then, had caused them to take their last breath? It seemed as though they had been frightened to death Since there was no proof that they had been killed Frank was released, and no charge was billed Even though people still thought it was him He stayed at the manor and kept the grass trimmed Until one night he was woken by pain His bad leg was almost driving him insane He looked out the window at the Riddle House He saw a fire he needed to douse Surely the local boys were causing trouble Using his walking stick, went on the double Up to the old house, using the key He’d not be ready for what he would see Taking the creaky stairs one at a time He was an old man and well past his prime Stopping outside of the room they were in He heard the intruders discussing within “Wormtail” and “Muggle” and “Quidditch World Cup” These were the words that made Frank look up Surely his hearing was the cause of this But then, right behind him, he heard a soft hiss Frank paralyzed, the snake slithered by Hissing and looking right into his eye Passing by Frank, went into the room Where only a fire could light up the gloom The strangers invited him into the space Where Frank hobbled in and was frozen in place Looking at the dreaded thing in the chair He never found out how they’d gotten in there For a flash of green light and a scream from his lungs His last dying thought was he wished for a gun For old Frank was dead before he hit the floor And the Riddle House gard'ner was seen nevermore.

Chorus: Oh, row, the whompin’ willow The willow down in Hogwarts-o Oh, row, the whompin’ willow The willow down in Hogwarts-o And on the grounds there was a willow A rare willow, a whompin' willow The willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And on that willow there was a limb A rare limb, a whompin’ limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And on that limb there was a branch A rare branch, a whompin' branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And on that branch there was a fist A rare fist, a whompin’ fist The fist on the branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And on that fist there was a Ford A rare Ford, an Anglia Ford The Ford on the fist The fist on the branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And in that Ford there was a Potter A rare Potter, a Harry Potter The Potter in the Ford The Ford on the fist The fist on the branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And on that Potter there was some hair A rare hair, ever growing hair The hair on the Potter The Potter in the Ford The Ford on the fist The fist on the branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And in that hair there was a scar A rare scar, a lightning scar The scar on the hair The hair on the Potter The Potter in the Ford The Ford on the fist The fist on the branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus And in that scar there was a soul A rare soul, Tom Riddle’s soul The soul in the scar The scar on the hair The hair on the Potter The Potter in the Ford The Ford on the fist The fist on the branch The branch on the limb The limb on the willow And the willow on the grounds And the grounds down in the Hogwarts-o Chorus

Hagrid: Gather ‘round, gather round, everyone! I wanna sing a little ditty about one of my favorite animals, the Blast-Ended Skrewt! Ya don’t mess with Blast-Ended Skrewts—they’re grumpy and they're nonbinary! It’s an old song that I heard many years ago—feel free add more verses after I’m done! Sing after me, folks! And a one and a two and a three... Ohhh the Blast-Ended Skrewt don’t give a damn (Way hey, and there she blows, boys!) They’ll blast you just as quick as they can (They’ll blow you all to hell, boys!) Don’t you get too close to their stinger end (Way hey, and there she blows, boys!) Or your poor old leg, t’will never mend (They’ll sting you all to hell, boys!) Chorus: And it’s BLAST when yer happy and BLAST when you’re sad (Oh, what a fine life for the Blast-Ended Skrewt) Blasting for life, it ain’t no fad (Oh, what a fine life for the Blast-Ended Skrewt) Oh they fought with Harry in the Triwizard task (Way hey, and there she blows, boys!) But they woulda just blasted him if he’d asked (They’ll blow you all to hell, boys!) Because a Skrewt can blast for days and days (Way hey, and there she blows, boys!) It could blast him straight to the center of the maze (They’ll help you win the cup, boys!) Chorus x2 Hagrid: Well, blast it all, folks, I do believe the Hog’s Head is closing for the night!

Myrtle comes 'round for tea But she doesn’t bring biscuits, Nor hot water She has brought us mead from the headmaster’s private stock There’s a spot in the Great Lake Where we can all eat teacakes Gather round the Sandbar The Merpeople play the harp Sing along with the Grindylows Arm in arm in the undertow |: Hey ho! Hey ho! To the Sand Bar, let’s go! Hey ho! :| The squid brings down gillyweed It’s distributed legally And homegrown We also have things to eat from the basin of the Sand Bar There’s a spot in the Great Lake Where we can all eat rock cakes Gather round the Sandbar The grindylows play guitar Sing along with the Mermaids Fin to fin, anchor aweigh |: Hey ho! Hey ho! To the Sand Bar, let’s go! Hey ho! :|

You could drink a glass of pumpkin juice Or a pint of Hogs Head brew You could even drink some polyjuice If you’re tired of looking like you You could drink fire whiskey by the dram Or by the quart in Hagrid’s case But there’s one sure drink that I like best To shove into my face Give me big old buckets of butterbeer Give me big old barrels of butterbeer Give me the drink I love so dear And another round for my friend right here Of that sweet old butterbeer Let's Accio up a tankard And drink down every drop Then give our wands a little wave And refill it to the top For only two Sickles more You get a drink so smooth and sweet And if you are not careful It will sweep you off your feet (no broom required!) Give me big old buckets of butterbeer Give me big old barrels of butterbeer Give me the drink I love so dear And another round for my friend right here Of that sweet old butterbeer One day my little house-elf Got himself a butterbeer That sweet old drink went to his head And burned away his fear He rampaged through Honeydukes 'Til he was tossed out by his ear They found him hanging by his feet From a Hogwarts chandelier Give me big old buckets of butterbeer Give me big old barrels of butterbeer Give me the drink I love so dear And another round for my friend right here Of that sweet old butterbeer Give me big old buckets of butterbeer Give me big old barrels of butterbeer Give me the drink I love so dear And another round for my friend right here Of that sweet old butterbeer Yes, more sweet old butterbeer

I was born into nobility round nine hundred eighty two A protégé of Slytherin who’s known to me and you One of the first of students who attended this fine school Gaining wizarding knowledge while learning all the rules I chanced upon a fair maid named Helena Ravenclaw My heart it was befuddled against what you’d call the law She rebuked all my advances and was clearly quite blasé But I continue to look after her oh even to this day Chorus: I’m the bloody baron whom you see everyday Haunting all the halls and making merriment and gay Surprising all the students with my bloody robe and chains But I’m helping you all out as you experience growing pains Now Helena ran away to fair Albania With her mother’s diadem and my unrequited love Rowena her great mother sent me to get her back But instead of coming peacefully I went on the attack Helena’s blunt refusal infuriated me I stabbed her several times with a knife as you can see I knew I did the wrong thing, and stabbed myself to death Now I wear these chains as penance for what little I have left Chorus x2

Chorus And Odo the Hero, they bore him back home To the place that he'd known as a lad, They laid him to rest with his hat inside out And his wand snapped in two, which was sad. When the Founders were young There were not four but five. And from bottom came Odo the Great. Though his magic was sung Of while he was alive, Near forgotten when he met his fate. He enchanted his hat So that when it was worn Every skill he desired he could gain. But he told no one that, Fearing he’d be forsworn Since his hat had such pow’r but no brain. Chorus He created such spells No one else could repeat In the Great Hall where all see the skies. And for three Peverells Three magnificent feats, But they soon spelled untimely demise. He sought Helga’s advice When his fortitude failed, An enchantment dysfunction unique. With her casting precise His condition unveiled, Diagnosis too awful to speak. Odo was dying every time he cast, Each spell cast with his hat, it drained his life. How mystifying that he never asked In masterworkings past, what was the price? Chorus Odo’s cap then he doffed And he severed the spell That connected his magic and soul, Then he held it aloft, And from hat brim soon fell Silver droplets he saved in a bowl. Odo turned out his cap, And the vessel he gave, Filled with remnants of triumph and death, And his wand, which he snapped, To the Founders, so grave, And he charged them with his final breath, “Beloved colleagues, take the last of me In millinery I’ll ever dwell. I’ll sort each student who puts me on their head Long after I’m dead. Now, friends, farewell!” And Odo the Hero, they bore him back home To the place that he’d known as a lad, They laid him to rest with his hat inside-out And his wand snapped in two-- Oh you may not think I’m pretty, But don’t judge on what you see. There’s nothing hidden in your head Old Odo can’t see...