1. |
Dance With Me
03:12
|
|||
|
“Hey Stewart,” Euen said, “have you thought at all
About who you want to take to dance at the Yule Ball?”
Stewart blushed and then replied, “If it’s all the same,
I haven’t had a chance to ask, so I won’t say his name.”
Euan thought a minute, wondering aloud:
“Owen Cauldwell, Theo Nott? No, they don’t like crowds...
Davey Gudgeon? Kevin? Graham?” Stewart just turned red
“Kenneth, Geoffrey, Harold, Eddie?” he then guessed instead
Chorus:
Oh, all right, dance with me
Dance the whole night through
Dance with me so I can be the one to dance with you
Let me take your hand
We’ll go into the night
Dance with me, dear Euen, and it’ll be all right
Euen grinned and pumped his fist, Stewart in his arms
Thinking of the hours spent practicing in Charms
He raised his wand, swish and flick, his heart began to soar
Going out with Stewart? He wanted nothing more
Oh, all right, dance with me
Dance the whole night through
Dance with me so I can be the one to dance with you
Let me take your hand
We’ll go into the night
Dance with me, dear Euen, and it’ll be all right
|
||||
2. |
In This Fairy Tale
01:58
|
|||
|
Chorus:
In this fairy tale, everyone is gay
The seven dwarfs are poly, they’ve always been that way
Snow White doesn’t need a prince, she’s a lesbian
So is Cinderella, that’s the way it’s always been
Babayaga’s walking hut is basically a club
Come and party with the gays who hang out in this pub
Old Mother Hubbard’s there, so is Santa Claus
Babbitty Rabbitty, Morgana too because
Chorus
Circe and Ptolemy were ace, Queen Cliodna was gay
Paracelsus was aromantic, as was Morgan le Fey
Merlin was the brain behind the first ever pride
He wanted to make sure no one ever had to hide
Chorus
|
||||
3. |
Solo Wizard
01:51
|
|||
|
Chorus:
I’m a solo wizard
I don’t need a man
I just need my wand
My magic and a dragon
Arms and legs? Who needs ‘em?
I’d rather raise griffins
Creatures make me happy
More happy than my limbs
My time at Hogwarts had to end
I passed my job along
To my good friend Rubeus
He can do no wrong
Chorus
Ain’t got time for romance
When I’ve got doxy eggs
I’d rather look at bowtruckles
Than any human legs
Chorus
I’ll miss Wilhelmina
She was same as me
Didn’t need someone to love
Just needs her kelpie
Chorus
|
||||
4. |
Slyth3rin
01:15
|
|||
|
Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy
The closest Slytherins
Try to get in their way
And they will do you in
Chorus:
All three are together
They never are apart
They are inseparable
And love with all their heart
They have all been family friends
For the longest time
Before they went to Hogwarts
Three partners in crime
Chorus
Goyle is affectionate
Crabbe loves giving gifts
Draco loves hearing about
How excellent he is
Chorus
|
||||
5. |
Cobblestones
01:51
|
|||
|
Chorus:
I met him in Diagon Alley
On the streets of London
I was intrigued right away
My mind was only on him
Cobblestones under his feet
He swept by on a breeze
Honeydukes in lots of bags
He made my heart freeze
Chorus
I floated up to him
My hand began to rise
He shook it and looked at me
With dazzling blue eyes
Chorus
I forgot to take a breath
He took it all away
In that London Alley
On that fateful day
Chorus
I channeled my Gryffindor
And if I never had
We’d not be together
Me and my Roland
|
||||
6. |
I Look Good
02:01
|
|||
|
I could rock a dress tonight
Or I could wear a suit
Paint my fingernails with gold
Black boots would be cute
Dance like no one’s watching
Hang out with my friends
I hope this fantastic night
Never has to end
Chorus:
I look good in anything
You can’t drag me down
See me at the Yule Ball
Dress robes or a gown
I haven’t decided
What I’m gonna wear
I look good in anything
So right now I don’t care
Yo, you lookin’ fly as hell
Wizard, where you been?
Come with me to Ravenclaw
And ditch that Slytherin
We can party all night long
And when the morning comes
We’ll be heading off to bed
Sleeping with the sun
Chorus
I look good (repeat)
|
||||
7. |
Bag-gender
01:29
|
|||
|
Chorus:
Ludo is bag-gender
As everybody knows
They wear their bag proudly
Wherever they go
Flying with the Wimbourne Wasps
Always was a sight
Wearing bags and Quidditch robes
Broom and heart takes flight
Chorus
Partying with the lesbian team
Led by Gwenog Jones
Her wife adores Ludo
The lovely Amelia Bones
Chorus
Ludo leads the trans group
In good old Hogsmeade
You’ll find Fudge and Runcorn
Bertha, Dirk, and Arkie
Chorus
|
||||
8. |
Aromantic Aberforth
02:17
|
|||
|
Chorus:
Never got married, it just wa’n’t for me
Never found a gal or guy who tickled my fancy
I’m content with all my goats, The Order, and my friends
That’s the only love I need, sometimes it depends
Albus fell for Grindelwald the moment that he came
Ariana and myself, we were both the same
Didn’t need a partner when you had family
Leave it up to Albus to trim our family tree
Chorus
Now I’m livin’ in my pub, helping the resistance
Fighting against Voldemort, keeping my distance
Mostly I’m just by myself, that’s what I prefer
I keep my bar, I keep my memories of growing up with her
Chorus x2
|
||||
9. |
Archie
01:50
|
|||
|
Chorus:
Wearing women’s clothing
Was so new to him
He never felt so free
It took him on a whim
He began to question
What his gender was
Now he’s genderfluid
And it was all because
Chorus
Easy breezy Archie
Loves his summer dress
He wore it to the World Cup
And knew it was the best
Chorus
Clothing has no gender
Archie knows that now
Thinking back on all the years
He never knew how
Chorus x2
|
||||
10. |
Death Eater Barn Dance
01:32
|
|||
|
I’ll admit the Death Eaters didn’t have much class
But you should see the spectacle of their evil dance
Every wizard picks their match on the given day
The partnerships don’t matter: everyone is gay
Carrow, Crabbe, and Dolohov do the do-si-do
Evan Rosier and Wilkes, hand in hand they go
Fenrir’s great at dipping Travers to the floor
Avery and Mulciber always call for more
Scabior and Jugson balance and swing
Rookwood and Rowle are doing their own thing
Pettigrew and Yaxley circle round the room
Lucius Malfoy prefers to dance on a broom
I’ll admit the Death Eaters didn’t have much class
But you should see the spectacle of their evil dance
Every wizard picks their match on the given day
The partnerships don’t matter: everyone is gay
Gibbon chains to Selwyn, Goyle gets a twirl
Igor Karkaroff can’t spin or else he’s gonna hurl
Walden stars with Nott, Lestrange stars with Tom
Oops, his name is Voldemort, and with that, I am gone!
|
||||
Totally Knuts Fremont, California
I am a nonbinary wizard who writes inclusive wizard rock! And also other nerdy stuff. Logo by Brenna Doe.
If you like Totally Knuts, you may also like:
A new EP of effervescent pop tackling universal anxieties from the buzzed-about young Bay Area artist.
go to album
Sorry I'm So Sensitive
by Bea Stewart
The second EP from Northern Irish singer-songwriter Bea Stewart runs from gentle folk to pillowy pop ballads, all perfectly executed.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 26, 2024
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 19, 2024
go to album
Six and Forty-Six
by Riccardo La Foresta & James Ginzburg
Percussionist and sound artist Riccardo La Foresta joins musician and producer James Ginzburg for a fluid collaborative experiment.
go to album
The Room
by Fabiano do Nascimento & Sam Gendel
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 9, 2024
go to album
Stirring Americana set to acoustic arrangements and topped by the legendary Alice Gerrard’s lovely, world-wise voice.
go to album
